When Perfectionism Creates Paralysis

We all have moments where we fall into perfectionism.

For some of us, this might happen frequently.

For others, it might creep up on special occasions or projects where we just can’t rest until we get it right.

If you spent any time in Corporate America, perfection was expected.

For me, it became common place for me to double, triple, quadruple check everything project I worked on.

A simple report became an obsession.

A quick ten minute project lasted two-hours; reviewing, moving data around, double-checking figures, resizing tables and columns - getting every little detail jussssst right.

While I was always critical and demanding of myself, this pattern creeped into my personal life and then into my small business when I first started.

I found myself working on things far longer than it should take.

I felt like I was spinning my wheels, getting nowhere quick. I had so much to do, I was working tons of hours and yet at the end of each day, it felt like I had really accomplished nothing (by my own demanding standards).

While occasional super-attention-to-detail is okay, it’s when we make perfectionism a way of life where it becomes a problem.

Those are the times where we finally need to take charge of our lives and learn how to let go.

This was not easy for me, it’s probably not easy for you either if you consider yourself a perfectionist.

Over the past few years though, I realized that I could not continue to beat myself up for something I didn’t get done, or something that didn’t have my typical 5-star flair, I had to find another way to get over this, to stop obsessing about every little thing that had to do with my business, which occasionally - I noticed bled into my personal life as well.

In my case, my perfectionism created paralysis. I spent so much time trying to get everything perfect, that I practically got noting done. My perfectionism was creating paralysis.

It took me some time to really figure some things out, I’m sharing what I discovered for myself, in hopes that it helps you to make quicker progress of getting over your own perfectionism.

Start at the Core

Why are you so wrapped up in perfectionism?

Are you truly trying to become a better person somehow, or are you just trying to impress someone else or meet expectations from those around you?

Neither of these reasons is very healthy, and both need to be addressed.

In corporate life (especially early on), it was to climb the corporate ladder.

Although, as I mentioned, perfection was expected.

I never missed a deadline. My work always looked better than anyone else on my team.

Over the years, it became very clear to me; that unless I was working on a marketing, advertising or design project, my obsession over the little details and appearance; meant nothing to anyone - all they wanted was the facts and the data.

Drop the “Should”

The moment you start using this word in a conversation, especially regarding your action, you're already driving yourself crazy.

Business had changed dramatically over the years.

There was a time when everyone wore a suit to work.

For us ladies…..that also meant the perfect blouse for that particular blazer, the slacks that had to be just the right length so they landed at just the right height for those dreaded high heeled shoes (that we all had in various heel heights). And don’t even get me started on those damned high heeled shoes that killed my feet half way through the day.

Today, business has changed, most work environments allow a casual dress code, or a “dress for your day” mentality. If you have important meetings, dress professionally, otherwise come in comfortable.

Even more so, in today’s online environment, people want to get to know the person behind the business. Long ago, people did business with a brand, a company; today they do business with a person. This is the person they gravitate to in the beginning, have something in common with, can relate to; and over time, trust is built between the owner and the potential customer

Not every potential customer will end as yours, and that’s okay.

There’s plenty to go around for everyone.

Your competition isn’t going to land every potential customer either.

Remind yourself you don’t need validation from anyone. You’re good just by being you.

Rewrite the Script

What are you telling yourself as you throw yourself into perfectionism?

Do you think this is the path to success?

Or do you have other unrealistic expectations of the outcome?

Here's where you need to switch up your self-talk to get out of any negative spaces and unrealistic outcomes.

Drop the Comparisons

Speaking of self-talk, just who are you holding up as role models?

Has this too become unhealthy, going from "I want to be more like them" to "Why can't I have everything they do?”

I feel feel very fortunate that this trap is something that I truly haven’t fallen into.

I’ve never truly compared myself to someone else and what they have.

Perhaps that comes from my years of experience in Corporate America, where I literally watched people “sell their soles” but their own personal gain, only to watch it backfire on them later. The big fancy house, the expensive cars, the trophy wife/husband - all came at an expense. Many times I literally watched someone lie, steal, cheat and create unreal stories of their lives in order to keep up the “perception of perfection and success,” only to watch it catch it up to them later and lose everything attached to the game they had played to get there.

As I help start-ups, side-hustles and small businesses get up and running or grow, I do see this occasionally - and it’s something I warn strongly against.

Sure it can be tough to watch someone else seemingly become an “overnight success” - but unless you know them on a personal level, you truly don’t know when they started their business and how quickly they came “successful.” It’s so easy in the online space, to create the perception of success.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s great to have mentors, it’s wise to follow people who have “been there/done that,” but that doesn’t mean that you have to do everything exactly the way they did.

Wouldn’t it feel better to celebrate where you are right now and all the effort you’ve been putting into things?

Every business doesn’t grow at the same rate.

Show Some Mercy

Perfection never allows for excuses.

If you can't succeed, you're automatically a failure.

By chasing imperfection, you learn the value of self-forgiveness and the ability to let go of your mistakes in favor of embracing the lessons you can learn from them.

You wouldn’t think these steps are all so very important at first glance.

After all, is chasing imperfection worthwhile?

The answer is a resounding, "Yes!"

Perfection is what pulls us away from others and gets us so tangled up inside with worry and stress about getting things right; we negatively impact our own mental and physical health.

With this in mind, isn’t it time to let go of perfection and enjoy life once and for all?

Your business and your personal life will thank you for it!